Summer Is Ending… and My Autistic Child’s Whole Routine Is About to Change

You know what everyone talks about when back-to-school season comes around?

Backpacks.

Lunch bags.

School supplies.

New shoes.

First-day outfits.

And don't get me wrong, we need all of those things.

But as I get ready for my little guy to start school for the first time, I've realized something.

The backpack might actually be the easy part. 😂

Because I'm not just preparing my son to carry a backpack into a school building.

I'm preparing him for his entire day to change.

And when I really started thinking about it that way, I thought...

Oh boy.

Summer has its own little rhythm in our house.

It isn't perfect. Believe me.

But it's familiar.

My son knows his surroundings. He has access to the things that comfort him. His days have more flexibility, and we aren't constantly watching the clock thinking, Shoes! Backpack! We have to leave NOW!

Soon, that's going to change.

And because my son is non-speaking, I can't simply sit him down and explain everything that's about to happen and expect him to say, "Okay Mom, thanks for the heads-up."

Wouldn't that make things easier?

Instead, we're going to have to figure this transition out together.

And if you're getting ready for school with your autistic child too, maybe that's exactly what you're doing right now.

So let's talk about it.

Not as experts.

Just as parents trying to make a very big change feel a little less big.

It's Not Just School That's Changing

I think this is the part I didn't fully appreciate at first.

We say our children are "starting school" or "going back to school."

That sounds like one change.

It's not.

It's about seventeen thousand changes disguised as one. 😂

Think about it.

Suddenly there may be an earlier wake-up time.

Then we need to get dressed.

Eat breakfast.

Brush teeth.

Find shoes.

Get the backpack.

Leave the house at a certain time.

Then there's transportation.

Arriving somewhere different.

Different adults.

Different sounds.

Different smells.

Different expectations.

Different transitions.

Lunch somewhere other than home.

Activities happening according to someone else's schedule.

And then, after all of that, coming home and doing it again the next day.

When I break it down like that, I can understand why the transition might feel enormous.

My son isn't going to understand "September" the way I do.

He doesn't know that summer vacation is ending because the calendar says so.

He just knows his life as it is right now.

And one morning, I'm going to put his backpack on him and suddenly expect him to follow a completely different routine.

That realization has made me think less about getting him ready for school and more about how I can make what's coming feel a little more familiar.

So… How Do We Prepare Before That First Morning?

This is the part I'm figuring out too.

I don't think I want the first school morning to be the first time my son experiences every piece of his new routine.

Because that feels like a LOT.

So instead, I'm thinking about the little things we can introduce beforehand.

Nothing dramatic.

I'm definitely not planning to run a pretend school in my living room for six hours a day. 😂

But maybe we start waking up a little closer to the time we'll need to wake up for school.

Maybe the backpack comes out before the first day instead of magically appearing that morning.

We can practice getting dressed and getting ready earlier.

We can take the school route.

If we have pictures of the school or the people he will be seeing, we can look at those too.

And because spoken explanations aren't how my son communicates, I can think about other ways of making the routine understandable for him.

Pictures.

Visuals.

Repeating the same sequence.

Showing him what's coming instead of only telling him.

Your child might need something completely different.

Maybe your child asks a million questions.

Maybe they need to know exactly what is going to happen.

Maybe they want to see their classroom.

Maybe they don't want to talk about school at all.

We're all working with different little humans here.

I think the goal is simply to make something familiar before everything changes.

I Am Not Chasing the Perfect School Morning

I already know myself.

There is absolutely no point in me creating some beautiful Pinterest-worthy morning routine where everyone wakes up smiling, eats a balanced breakfast, gets dressed peacefully and skips happily out the door.

That's not the house I live in. 😂

I want something we can actually manage.

And more importantly, I want something my son can begin to recognize.

Wake up.

Bathroom.

Get dressed.

Breakfast.

Brush teeth.

Shoes.

Backpack.

Go.

That's it.

Simple.

I'm thinking a visual routine may be helpful for us because my son is non-speaking, and seeing what comes next may be much more useful than me repeating, "Come on, sweetheart, we have to get dressed."

Then repeating it.

Then repeating it again.

And again.

You know the drill.

I'm also planning to make my own life easier wherever I can.

Clothes ready the night before.

Backpack packed.

Things where I can actually find them in the morning.

Because the fewer things I have to hunt for while trying to get two children out the door, the better. 😂

I'm not looking for a perfect autism morning routine.

I just want our mornings to eventually feel familiar.

When Everything Is New, Maybe Something Can Stay the Same

This is something I've been thinking about a lot.

My son's school environment will be new.

The people will be new.

The routine will be new.

The expectations will be new.

So maybe not everything needs to be new.

Maybe breakfast can still be familiar.

Maybe we create the same little goodbye routine.

Maybe he has access to the sensory or communication supports that help him, where appropriate and permitted.

Maybe when he gets home, the things he loves are right where he expects them to be.

Those things might seem small to us.

But when almost everything else about the day is changing, I imagine those little pieces of familiarity can matter.

And I think this is also where my own worries about him starting school come in.

I have already shared some of my feelings about sending my autistic child to public school for the first time, because believe me, Mama has feelings. Lots of them.

But this part feels different.

This isn't only about my worries.

It's about remembering that this is a big transition for him too.

And Then There's the Part After School

This might actually be the part I'm thinking about most.

We spend so much time talking about getting our children to school.

But what happens when they come home?

Because imagine this from our children's perspective.

You've spent hours in an environment that isn't home.

There are sounds you can't control.

People around you.

Transitions.

Instructions.

Waiting.

Moving from one thing to another.

Communication.

Sensory input.

Expectations.

And you're processing all of it.

Then you finally get home.

I know when I've had a long day, I don't necessarily want somebody waiting at the door with 47 questions.

Sometimes I want food, my comfortable clothes and peace. 😂

Why wouldn't our children sometimes need their version of that too?

I don't know yet what after school will look like for my son.

That's something we're going to learn together.

Maybe he'll want his familiar activities.

Maybe he'll need movement.

Maybe he'll need sensory input.

Maybe he'll be hungry.

Maybe he'll want cuddles.

Maybe he'll want me to leave him alone for a little while.

Maybe different days will bring different needs.

And because my son doesn't communicate with spoken words, I'm going to have to watch him.

His body.

His behaviour.

What he's seeking.

What he's avoiding.

What seems to help.

I think that's important because sometimes what looks like a "difficult evening" might actually be an exhausted child saying:

I've had enough for today.

Not with words.

But still communicating.

That doesn't mean every difficult moment after school is because of overwhelm. Every child is different.

But it's something I want to remember before immediately asking more of him.

Some days, coming home might need to mean exactly that.

You're home.

You can relax now.

The First Week Doesn't Have to Tell Us the Whole Story

I'm writing this part for myself too.

Because I know how my brain works.

If Day One is difficult, I'll probably be thinking about Day 147 before bedtime. 😂

But one hard morning doesn't tell us what the entire school year will look like.

Neither does one difficult week.

Our children are learning.

We're learning.

The teachers and support staff are learning about our children too.

Maybe something we thought would help won't.

Maybe something tiny will make a huge difference.

Maybe the morning routine needs changing.

Maybe after-school expectations need changing.

Maybe our child just needs more time.

I want to give my son that time.

I also want to give myself that time.

We don't have to have September figured out on the first day of September.

Because We're Going Through This Transition Too

Sometimes I think we forget about this part.

Our children aren't the only ones adjusting.

We are too.

I'm learning a new morning routine.

I'm learning to trust people I don't know yet with a child who means absolutely everything to me.

I'm learning how to communicate with his school.

I'm going to be watching for signs that he's happy, struggling, tired, overwhelmed or adjusting.

And because my child can't come home and tell me every detail of his day, I'm probably going to wonder about things other parents don't necessarily have to wonder about.

Was he okay?

Did he eat?

Did someone understand what he needed?

Did he feel safe?

Did he have a good moment today?

Did somebody make him smile?

That's part of this transition too.

So while I'm thinking about how to make school easier for my son, I'm also reminding myself that I don't have to know exactly how this is going to go.

Neither do you.

We'll Figure It Out as We Go

Maybe that's really what this whole back-to-school season is about for me.

Not having the perfect routine.

Not buying every possible thing.

Not having every answer before school starts.

Just preparing what I can.

Keeping some familiar things familiar.

Watching my child.

Listening to what he's communicating, even when he isn't using words.

Changing things when they aren't working.

And giving both of us time to adjust.

You don't need to have the entire school year figured out before that first bell rings.

Neither do I.

We'll prepare what we can.

We'll keep what we can familiar.

We'll pay attention to our children.

And then?

We will take it one school morning, one tired afternoon, one missing shoe, and one day at a time. ❤️

Before You Go...

If you are going through this transition too, I would love to hear how you are feeling about it. Maybe your child is starting school for the first time, going back to a familiar classroom, or beginning somewhere completely new.

And if there's something about autism parenting that you have been carrying around and wishing someone would talk about, feel free to reach out. It might just become one of our next conversations here at Sensory Cozy Corner.

Because chances are, if you are thinking about it, another parent somewhere probably is too.

Sensory Cozy Corner shares personal experiences and general information from one parent's perspective. Nothing shared here is meant to suggest that every autistic child or family will have the same experience, and this post is not intended as medical, developmental, therapeutic, or educational advice. Every child is different. If you have concerns about your child's individual needs or transition to school, consider speaking with an appropriate healthcare professional, educator, therapist, or school support team.

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